12 Dating Tips for Dating Advice

Love and romance come from successful dating. The word successful is key here, because dating is all about getting to know one another.

If we have a good match, physical attraction AND mental attraction -- as well as common interests -- feelings of true and lasting love and romance can blossom.

This article offers 12 dating tips or dating advice that can help you put things into perspective and get more out of your dating experiences.

The purpose of a "date" is to get to know the other person on as many levels as possible.

It is not about "getting lucky". In fact, this could lead to disaster and some very hurt feelings.

Use the date to get to know the other person, his/her interests, the way he/she thinks about things, his/her opinions, manners, levels of courtesy, respect for self and others, personal habits and so on.

The more you know, the better it is for you. So think with your brain, and let your heart follow, if that is appropriate.

After all, if you are going to spend time with him or her, you want to be sure you'll enjoy it.

This should be obvious but it bears reminding.

Take a bath (shower), brush your teeth, and wear clean and neat clothes when going out on a date.

This not only is good hygiene, it shows respect for the other person, which will be appreciated.

After all, you expect the same from your date, and if he/she is lacking in this area, that is a clear indication of other "messy" issues, which you may do best to avoid.

Your reason for dating is two fold.

1. You want to present yourself to the other person for consideration as a friend or love interest.

2. You also want to know as much about them as possible.

The more you know, the happier you will be in the long run because you can better decide if this is a person you want to spend more time with.

To get to know the other person, you simply have to be "other directed" instead of self-conscious and nervous. This may be hard to do if you have had bad experiences in the past. There is an easy solution.

Mental self help programs can help you out. There are many dealing with attractiveness issues, self esteem, shyness, social confidence and so on. Some are subliminal message programs, some are self-hypnosis programs.

However, be careful of sales hype and idiotic promises. NEVER buy a program that promises to "make" women (or men) find you attractive or do things for you. Forcing people through tricks and manipulation is extremely disrespectful, contrary to true love, and will only lead to trouble.

Instead, look for programs that help YOU feel good about YOURSELF. When you do that, you automatically become more attractive to others.

There is a very unique program that helps you become "other focused" and confident as well. ClydeSight Productions' Love and Romance DSPP program (see link at bottom of this article) helps you automatically form your thoughts around the principle of inviting self disclosure by having a genuine interest in your date. It helps you adopt this attitude automatically because it addresses your unconscious mind -- which will instinctively help you do the right things to encourage love and romance.

Be careful of physical attraction at first.

Beauty can be only skin-deep. Physical beauty is only part of the whole person. Many movie villains are very attractive people. But, do they make good love interests?

Furthermore, your tastes can change and if there is nothing more about the other person you like, you're bound to be disappointed.

Of course, we all want to be physically attracted to the other person, but sometimes, that attraction develops over time, often when we realize the value of the human being we are dating, not just the "outer shell".

Look for ALL attractive aspects in the other person, not just the physical aspects and you will be much happier.

Do not be worried or focused on whether or not the other person finds you physically attractive.

He or she will make it known through body language and other means soon enough.

And remember that people DO change their minds. How many times have you heard: "Well, at first, I didn't think he was my type, but after a while, I found myself very attracted to him. His eyes, I never noticed them before..." or "She wasn't what I imagined, but she has such a sweet smile, and a heart of gold..."

Try to remember that people find others attractive on many levels, not just the physical level.

This is obvious.

Be yourself and be honest.

Honesty is the foundation of trust and love. Always be honest and be who you are.

Dating is not a job interview where you have to make yourself look so good that only you can fit the job

You may have done wonderful things in your life, and certainly, it is nice to share this with another person, but share them as they are, avoid the temptation to "embellish".

Also, let the other person "draw you out" (in psychology this is called "inviting self disclosure").

If he or she fails to do so, this tells you something about how he or she thinks about you and what interest he or she has in you.

You won't get that chance if you blurt out all your accomplishments and exaggerate things.

Avoid the "compatibility trap".

A common misconception is that people who have many of the same or similar interests will become great friends. This isn't always the case. There are many other social factors that come into play. Compatibility is only one factor, and it is often over rated.

For example, while it might be great that the two of you like comedy films, if there is a difference, it provides an opportunity to share and grow.

If you like comedy films, and your date likes historical dramas, you can share what you like about comedy, thus giving your date a new perspective, and vice versa.

Never underestimate the benefits of diversity!

So if you and your date have differences, don't be disappointed, See it as an opportunity to explore and grow. You may find amazing new things to enjoy.

Along the same lines, be careful of being an "expert" in an area where your date also has an interest.

For example, if you both like to play handball, that is a nice compatibility area. But if you go to the handball court and beat your date to show off how good you are-- well, you may find his/her interest in you has waned considerably.

Use the opportunity to compare your knowledge and skills and improve them by learning from each other.

Humor is a great "ice breaker" and eases the tension if used properly.

You don't have to be a comedian (or comedienne) or an entertainer, but you can use humor to get things going.

However, NEVER make fun of another person or use cruel or abusive humor. This can be very damaging.

Look for your date's expression of humor, it will tell you a lot.

While laughter is a physiological response to something we consider funny, humor, which sparks laughter, is culturally learned.

A joke may "fall flat" if you are from different cultures and backgrounds, so be careful when using humor.

People like to see other people smile.

When you speak, end with a nice smile.

You don't have to show your teeth (which is more of a grin, and in the animal kingdom is considered a sign of aggression), just a pleasant smile will do.

The more you smile, the more inviting you are.

Keep in mind that you need to smile. Often we can get so concerned about what we are doing that we don't smile, even though we are enjoying ourselves. This sends a mixed message.

A smile is reassuring and builds confidence. It also tends to make you "glow", it is an indicator of happiness. Public speakers often look to their audience to see who is smiling, and not surprisingly, they tend to address them, rather than someone who looks disinterested or critical.

A large component of the "language of love" is body language and a smile says a lot.

Relax and enjoy your date for what it is, an opportunity to share time and get to know each other.

Do NOT expect anything to come of the first date. This is an introduction and should be just that.

If you and your date have had a good time, DO ask for a second date by offering an event or experience you both might enjoy.

And DO follow through.

If you say you are going to call, DO call!

Let your love and romance grow over time naturally. If it is "in the stars", it will happen in its own way and time. The dance of love is a slow dance!

Dating is a long time process about slowly, easily, and gently getting to know each other.

It is about self-disclosure and discovery.

You want to discover if your date is someone you truly enjoy spending time with, and if your date enjoys spending time with you.

If you have good compatibility, good personality and psychological rapport, you will enjoy many dating experiences that will naturally grow into love and romance.

There is a saying the "Getting there is half the fun". If you and your date are headed for a serious relationship, the journey is part of the process and can be very enjoyable, making for many happy memories in years to come.

So take your time and enjoy yourself.

Don't be disappointed if things do not work out on a date.

There are no failures, only lessons learned.

Do not be bitter and resentful.

Be happy that you have had an experience in which you have learned something about yourself and your date.

Not everyone is right for everyone else! So if things don't work out -- you decide you don't want to go on another date, or your date doesn't want to go out with you again -- be grateful for the time you have had together and what you have discovered.

You may have both been saved "a world of hurt" in the long run!

You just "pick up where you left off" and go out for another date with another person.

There are many wonderful people in the world, each can be a treasure. So if one does not work out, there are still others, and often, they may be better.